Samedi 8 novembre 2008 à 0:19


Ce soir... j'ai été promener... dans le noir... seule...

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Allez hop, je démare, bien décidée a aller au club des jeunes de mon village avec mon frère, j'enfile son gilet Nirvana (j'en suis amoureuse de ce foutu gilet... ), on retrouve William et Alexandre... Alexandre fume, je m'en étonne, il me réponds seulement en sorties.... Mmh', changement de plan, je me retire des pieds de mon frère, après tout, les sorties... j'aime pas trop ça.. en tout cas, pas comme ça... et puis, j'ai pas envie de le dérranger mon nain.. "j'fais le tour du pâté de maison et je rentre"... arrivé a l'église 20m plus haut.. j'me dis que je tournerai un peu plus haut pour prollonger un peu ma balade nocturne... arrivé un peu plus haut, je croise la route du "tour du chenêt"... là bas, il fait tout noir...
Impossible de résister, j'ai envie d'aller m'y perdre...

Je quitte doucement le village, j'avance lentement, je ne suis pas pressée, aucun bus, train ou cours a ne pas rater... Me voila a l'entrée de la forêt, il fait bien noir, je coupe mon gsm...
Je continue de marcher, tout doucement, sans bruit, comme une ombre, mon ombre...
J'arrive au dessus de la descente dans laquelle je courais la rage au ventre il y a quatre mois...
Je m'arrête, je n'ai pas envie de continuer, je ne sais pas pourquoi... je suis bien là, dos au village, face.. face a quoi ? Je n'y vois rien...
Je ne vois rien, alors j'écoute.. le vent souffler dans les branches, le léger craquement des arbres, le petit choc des feuilles percutant la route, au loin une vache meugle, une autre lui répond... le vent, en plus de m'apporter tout ces sons, tout ce ... calme.. et une odeur qui met familière..il doit y avoir un cheval pas loin.... humidifie mon dos,il bruine.. il doit surrement y a voir du brouillard près du ruisseau... je sens que le gilet a percé au niveau de mes épaules... déjà ? Suis je la depuis si longtemps ?
Je suis la depuis assez longtemps pour que mes yeux se soient habitués a la nuit, des ombres informes, énormes et effrayantes, je distingue maintenant nettement les contours, un buisson et ses nombreuses branches entremêlées, deux piquets de clotures et leurs fils, la route, la forêt en face et... du brouillard qui monte du ruisseau et envahit lentement le paysage... la vie en noir et gris, en intensité de lumière...
Mais a quoi je pense ? Là, toute seule, au milieu de la route, a me faire mouiller le dos et a me geler les os ?  Mon cerveau fonctionne au ralentit... Je ne suis pas là pour réfléchir ou penser... je suis la pour... je suis la pourquoi ? Parce que c'est là que mes jambes ont décidé d'aller, parce que j'en avais envie et que c'est suffisant....
Un moment a moi, juste le vent et moi... dans ces moments la, je me fous de tout, je me fous de vous...
Je ne suis pas triste, je ne pleure pas... je ne suis pas heureuse, je ne souris pas... je suis juste calme, tout a fait calme et détendue... ça faisait longtemps non ?
Je me retourne... j'apperçois cinq ou six points lumineux... les quelques réverbères perdus dans le noir qui éclairent une rue calme, sans l'agiation des gens pressés, eux ? Ils sont bien installés devant leur télévision réfléchissant au plan de leur week end...
Retour a la réalité... et moi je fais quoi ce week end.. Mmh' je sais pas on verra... je reprends ma marhce direction maison...

Ce soir j'ai été promener... ce soir, je suis calme


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Par dechet-radioactif le Samedi 8 novembre 2008 à 0:57
ça me fait penser un peu au village de ma maison de campagne,enfin les 1° lignes parce que y'a pas de foret (ni de cheval,ni de mer,mais bon j'habite à Marseille)mais des champs autour,c'est dans le var.
J'adore ces moments là.Une fois j'en ai vécu un vraiment intennse:j'étais au bord d'une haute falaise en Bretagne,il pleuvait et j'écoutais la mer,en dessous de moi,la mer;et la cote,d'autres falaises.C'était magnifique,tous mes sens étaient sollicités,et "dieu" sait s'ils sont rares ces moments là,j'ai trouvé ça "mystique",c'est con mais bon,j'ai pas d'autre mot pour le décrire.J'crois que je viens d'avoir une idée d'article...
Par BrOwN.sugaR le Dimanche 9 novembre 2008 à 10:56
J'vais t'avouer que ça m'arrive plus souvent qu'à mon tour aussi, mais à Louvain. Et même en pleine journée, je me perds dans l'Ailleurs.

On en a besoin va de p'tits moments comme ceux-là : )

(k)
Par Fifounette le Mardi 11 novembre 2008 à 23:51
Car seule dans le noir. Personne n'est là pour nous parler et nous faire croire que tout est beau. Seule on est mieux pour respirer ainsi que pour écouter les feuilles des arbres tombés ainsi que les gouttes de pluies ou de brumes tombés sur nous sans que rien ne l'en empêche.
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